lastjinstanding | Brothel meme continued

"It's not forever," Wei Wuxian says gently, understanding exactly what that hardness means "it doesn't even have to be for very long. Just... long enough."

They can still write, maybe even visit, he has no intention of tearing the two of them apart - he doesn't want to see that look in A-Yuan's eyes that he saw in his husband's.

"And I definitely wouldn't make you do that, A-Ling." he adds, standing so he can leave the room and give them some privacy. He pauses just before he leaves, though, and looks back.

"Thank you. Not just for agreeing to this but also... I know you weren't looking for him but you found him, and you brought him back, and that..." his voice catches as he trails off, unable to find the right words "One day, when you have children of your own and you can really, truly understand what you've given to me, I'll thank you again, and you'll know what it means."

He nods, once, and walks out of the room.

Jin Ling wants to hate his uncle as he watches him leave. He tries to keep that expression of granite, but even after a couple years of forging it, Wuxian can see straight through it by the end. His eyes are rimmed in tears and the edges of his jaw are achingly tight. There's a quiet sob as soon as the door shuts.

There's no way he believes this isn't forever. He has no faith this isn't permanent just like all his other goodbyes have been. He hates that Wuxian brought up children again because he was going to be doomed to be the husband of some spoiled insufferable wife just for an heir. Yuan's happiness was worth it, of course, but that doesn't mean he has to like it or not be upset for his own fate!

He tries really hard to be quiet and let Yuan sleep, but how quiet and not bothersome can you be when you're shaking, sobbing, and clutching someone? Sorry Yuan...

It's not long at all before Jin Ling's sobbing makes him stir, his brow furrowing in confusion as he wakes - slowly at first, but his eyes flying open as soon as he's awake enough to realise what's happening.

"A-Ling, A-Ling what's wrong?" he asks, winding his arms around his love. His voice is hoarse, barely more than a whisper, but it's not quite as painful as it was before - not that pain would have stopped him from speaking in that moment. He strokes Jin Ling's back gently, waiting for him to tell him what was going on.

Crap! He hadn't meant to do that. He immediately feels guilty on top of everything else.

He fights to calm down enough to speak, knowing he appears anything but the sect leader he's supposed to be right now. He feels just like he did at the pier- having an emotional breakdown in front of the world like a five year old instead of in a private room with just his beau to witness it.

Eventually he finds his composure and realizes what a terrible person Wuxian is! He just left him to do his dirty work! Now Jin Ling has to break the news? Fuck his life! Sadly, it didn't change the facts.

"A-Yuan.. I- I've been thinking.." Sure, he can take credit for this. Why not? Wait, no, he might not want to do that. "Well.. your dad- Uncle W- er- dammit- Wei Wuxian!- he said you should go back with him and HanGuang-Jun to Cloud Recesses. It's where you belong and you're meant.. you're supposed to be this.. what we've been pretending you are since we started this trip. You aren't someone just pretending to be a young master, A-Yuan. You're the son of the Chief Cultivator from the.. noblest clan. They want to take you home." He swallows hard, mustering his courage, and looks A-Yuan in the eye. "I want you to go with them."

And.. there's his heart shattering all over again.

Yuan holds him and listens silently as he gets through the explanation. For a long moment, he doesn't say anything at all - he can't, he doesn't have any words to express how all of this makes him feel, he isn't even sure how all of this makes him feel.

I want you to go

It stings, feels like a knife in his heart. It makes sense, it does, he's been the cause of so many problems for Jin Ling, it's better this way, even if it's clearly breaking both of their hearts.

He can see that much, at least, can tell that Jin Ling still feels the same way, even if he has to make this decision.

If the circumstances were any different, he'd leap at the chance - a family? A life away from what he's known? The chief cultivator himself willing to accept him as a son despite his background? He never would have even thought to dream of such a thing. Some part of him does want that.

But a much larger part of him just wants Jin Ling.

"I don't want to leave you." He whispers.

Please don't make me leave you

He sort of wishes he'd drank the tea. Although if he had, Yuan would've and yeah.. okay. He doesn't really wish that. He just.. he doesn't want to be present. He doesn't want to be doing this. He can't take the look on Yuan's face.

I don't want you to leave me either.

"It's what's best. You'll have Jingyi too. He's the head junior disciple." When he wakes up, of course. "And more importantly, you'll have your family and a new reputation. A new name. And.. it'll be okay. You'll be really happy there. I really want you to be happy." His voice cracks a bit and he pulls Yuan into a tight hug. "I want you to be taken care of." They can do a better job than he can anyway. Being with him almost got Yuan killed.

He needs to leave, so he draws back. "I'll have Liling go with you and get you settled, okay?"

"No," Yuan shakes his head - he doesn't know how to feel about any of this but he's sure of that, at least "Liling is someone you trust. She should stay with you." There's precious few people he trusts, Yuan won't take one away if he's leaving himself.

He wants to be happy and taken care of with Jin Ling. This just isn't fair. He buries his face in his lover's shoulder as the tears start to come again.

"I don't care," he whispers "I don't care about reputation or name I don't need it."

He wants to argue further about Liling but, he can't. He just knows Yuan's not backing down with that tone in his voice and maybe it's selfish but he doesn't really want to lose her too. Yuan's going to be the one surrounded by people he sort of trusts anyway (and Jin Ling's 'sort of trusts' was pretty good!).

He remembers now what his uncle said and while he doesn't believe this is going to happen- he knows he's going to be forgotten- he doesn't to repeat them anyway.

"It's not forever. He's my uncle, you know? Gusu and Lanling aren't that far from each other. We can write and visit." He holds Yuan and places a hand gently on the back of his head. "No matter what, know I'll always love you okay? Even if I can't say it or show it for some reason?" Like if his elders succeed in forcing him to marry. "Just trust me it's there. Always." He reaches down and removes a ring from his finger and places it in Yuan's hand. Never mind that it belonged to his mother. "You don't have to wear it. Just keep it."

"I trust you," he says, drawing back a little so he can look up at Jin Ling's face, so he can see how seriously Yuan is taking his words. "I love you too. Forever, no matter what." he echoes.

He looks down at the ring before closing his fingers around it, clutching it so tightly it almost digs into his palm.

"It's beautiful. I'll treasure it always." he promises, voice cracking a little in a way that has nothing to do with the injury to his throat.

It's not the only thing, he's still got the box with the peony stored safely away, but he likes the ring, something he can keep on himself every day, a simple reminder no matter where he is that he is loved, and that Jin Ling is out there somewhere, even if they can't be together.

For now, he tells himself, it's only for now.

“Good bye, A-Yuan,” he says after a long moment of just looking, trying to memorize every aspect of the young man’s face, imprinting it forever on his heart.

He gets up then and grabs his sword. He has to leave. If he doesn’t, he might never. He doesn’t look back and in the hall he calls to his men to get their things and meet him in the boats immediately. He doesn’t wait to say goodbye to his uncles and his parting word to one of the Jiang disciples about the boat he’s leaving behind is Jiujiu can keep it or burn it for all he cared.

As they depart though, a certain young, nervous disciple is no where to be found, not that anyone would think to notice. Not when so many other important things were happening like a carriage for Jingyi and Zizhen had just arrived and the last of the Ouyang’s were requiring a proper farewell from their host, Jiang Cheng.

"A-Ling," the name is almost a sob, and he sits up to watch him leave with a heartbroken expression, clutching the ring like a lifeline.

As soon as Jin Ling has left, he pulls his knees up to his chest and breaks down - which is where Wuxian finds him when he returns, and he pulls his son into his arms and whispers apologies and reassurances, so focused on the crying young man that he doesn't think to go check up on his nephew, to go find out what Mentao discovered and pass the information on, he just clings to his son until his tears have run out.

He does think of it later, when Yuan has cried himself back to sleep, he tucks him up in the blankets and steps outside to go in search of his nephew - who he's told has left - and then Jiang Mentao. He should find his husband, too, and make their own arrangements to leave.

(And in his guest quarters, Nie Huaisang amuses himself with one of his favourite books and waits for everybody else to have left)

Jiang Mentao is missing and as Wuxian keeps asking around, so is the friend he’d recruited to help him. Eventually one of the servants confesses they think they might have seen the two helping the Jin Clan load their boats. Not the most helpful info but it’s a start.

Lan Zhan, unaware anything is wrong for once, has the preparations to leave well in hand. Someone was ready to go home and wasn’t being shy about letting anyone know about it. He has a basket for Yuan Liling quickly prepared for him full of all the things Jin Ling had given him and a ribbon that belongs to her, not that she figures he’ll notice with everything else.

He looks up from supervising the last of the packing when his husband enters and gives him a small bow of his head.

"Lan Zhan," he says, a concerned frown on his face "two Jiang disciples are missing, and I never got to the bottom of who else in Jin Ling's guard might be a problem before they rushed off."

He hates to do this, but he feels like they already failed Jin Ling by letting the plot get this far (even though they had no way of knowing), so he presses on.

"Can you get A-Yuan back to Cloud Recesses with you, I want to go after Jin Ling before anything happens." he asks "He's asleep in his room."

Lan Zhan's heart drops seeing the look on his husband's face. He immediately thinks of Yuan and worries if there was an injury they missed. The news is troublesome but on a personal level it isn't as bad as it could've been. Nonetheless, he isn't heartless and that is his husband's nephew, so he can sympathize with the fear.

He steps closer and draws Wuxian into an embrace. He kisses him softly and then nods. "Be careful." They would wait for him to return here in Lotus Pier, but they really needed to leave, if not for Jiang Cheng's mental state then for Jingyi. The longer he slept, the more he could benefit from the medical expertise found in Cloud Recesses. If only it hadn't been a head wound!

After seeing Wei Wuxian off, he goes and collects his ~~baby boy~~Yuan. With a little extra help from some magic to keep him asleep, he lays him in the carriage along side Jingyi with Zizhen watching over them and gets the cart moving. Lan clan disciples follow behind like a funeral procession.

Jiang Cheng watches from the gate with a cold exterior. Nearly every person leaving had tried to reason with him about breaking the engagement or remarked on some character flaw of his. If he ever married again, it would be a private ceremony and none of these fuckers were invited.

He looks down removes from his robes a set of red painted wooden combs with a golden filigree of a butterfly. Anju's favorite. This was the second time he'd gifted a comb (or combs) from his heart only for it to be given back. There wouldn't be a third.

Turning back to his house that would be blissfully empty of guests, he planned on finding a few more of those wine jugs and draining them in his room alone.

The wine jugs are currently missing one.

Well, missing more than one actually, but that's because somebody let Wei Wuxian get near them, they are also missing one more.

Jiang Cheng won't have to go far to find the culprit, if he even notices, because as soon as he steps foot in the main courtyard of Lotus Pier after seeing off what he thinks is the last of the guests, he'll see a familiar figure lounging on the steps leading up to Sword's Hall, jar of wine in one hand and ever-present fan in the other.

When he sees Jiang Cheng, he regards him with a knowing look and, entirely ignoring the fact that he's the one imposing on the Jiang Sect's hospitality, motions to the steps beside him.

"Care to join me, Jiang-zongzhu?"

He stands in the courtyard staring at the Nie sect leader completely stunned, like his old classmate had angel wings. Why on Earth was Huaisang still here? He thought he was finally done playing host and now he was having to deal with this? Except.. what was this?

After all the harsh criticism and anger over 'his' decision to cancel the wedding, to have someone (besides his brother) concerned with Jiang Cheng was rather.. it was a new feeling. He was wary of new. New could be confusing and make you clumsy and make stupid mistakes. New could also lead to dangerous things that you didn't see coming because you lacked the experience. New could also bring the most wonderful things. Who knew?

"Very well," he concedes after a moment. "What are you still doing here?" The question was meant to come out with a disapproving tone but instead it only managed a curious one.

Huaisang regards him for a moment, like he was deciding the best way to answer, but he decides quickly enough that Jiang Cheng deserves a little honesty - no politicking, no carefully chosen words they both have to dance around, and nobody trying to spare his feelings - or forgetting, entirely, that he had them.

"You," he says, flicking his fan closed and pointing it at the other sect leader "seem very much like you need a friend."

And probably an excessive amount of wine, but he'll leave that part up to Jiang Cheng.

"We're friends?" The words are out of his mouth before he can really think about them in a typical Jiang Cheng fashion. To others the question is a harsh rhetorical question since the assumed answer would then be 'no'. To this straight forward, but at times a little clueless, sect leader it had been a genuine question. He wasn't sure of the answer. Had they established that at some point and he was unaware of it? He wasn't like his brother who would, at times, declare someone as 'friend' or 'someone he approved of'. Those weren't things that were ever said aloud, right along with most matters relating to the heart. The only emotion Jiang Cheng ever allows himself to feel or express was anger because nothing else made sense or it was too painful.

Whether he gets an answer or not, he sighs. "Come eat with me, then." It is sort of an invitation, though not the politest one. He's worn out though and still a bit perturbed everything erupted right before he got to eat anything earlier. The food waste that must've created.. he didn't even want to think about.

He gestures for the pretty man to go first.. and tries not to notice the view from this angle. He resumes his proper seat at the head of the room, but a few servants hurry forward to arrange a table in front of him and a spot across from him (or cattycorner, whichever Huaisang seems to prefer) for his new guest.

"Aren't we?" Huaisang asks easily, throwing the ball back into his court and saying yes at the same time. He considers Jiang Cheng a friend, or at the very least a friend of a friend (well, brother of a friend) which is close enough - it doesn't really matter to him if the other man feels the same way, though, because right now friends and family are caught up in their own dramas or mad at Jiang Cheng for the broken engagement, and Huaisang is quite confident that the man really needs a friendly face around, even if it's not one he actually considers to be a friend right now.

He doesn't even blink at the phrasing of the invitation - his purpose right now isn't to judge or nitpick, his intent is to simply let Jiang Cheng be himself, because he thinks remarkably few people probably allow him that luxury.

"I'd be delighted," he says with a grin, pushing himself upright and dusting down his robes before turning to walk up the steps. He settles comfortably across from Jiang Cheng, thanking the servants and placing his fan on the table, then he pours them both a cup from the wine in his hand as soon as the servants furnish them with cups.

"I'm sorry." he says, genuinely, lifting his cup towards the other man and smiling faintly as he offers a toast "May you find a wife who cannot be driven away by your family's inevitable nonsense."

He has a friend. What do you know? He doesn't recall the last time he had someone he might call that and actually mean it. There were some people who he didn't completely dislike their company and a few who were as useful to him as he was to them. He tends to believe that mutual using of each other for personal gain was friendship. For some reason he can't quite put his finger on, Huaisang doesn't seem to want anything from him. Yet. Of course, yet. That had to be it. It was still coming.

Feeling more comfortable, he watches as his guest pours him wine- which shouldn't it be reversed? Oh well- and offers it to him so sweetly. He takes the glass and finds when he smiles his thanks it isn't quite as forced as he would've thought it would be. "Thank you, Nie-zongzhu." Lifting his glass to the toast, his smile wavers at hearing the word 'wife' but the end is so close to getting a laugh out of him that it's forgotten quickly. He drinks so much of his glass, it is reminiscent of Wuxian's antics.

"If I ever find someone again, we're eloping. I might introduce my brother after we've had our third anniversary." Maybe. "At least you don't have to put up with such things!"

Huaisang does him the courtesy of also not judging how quickly he drinks, instead he just refills the cup as soon as Jiang Cheng puts it down again. Supportive friends let you drink as much as you like when your marriage just got called off.

He snorts at the comment, nodding his agreement.

"That's only because noone will have me," he retorts cheerfully (a little too cheerfully), sipping at his own drink - a little slower, he's more than happy to get merry, but he's also intending to stay sober enough to look after Jiang Cheng after he inevitably drinks too much.

"Are sect leaders allowed to elope, do you think?"

He really does have a true friend. Too bad he's too busy wallowing to notice yet. He's only grateful for more booze. Fortunately there's food coming so this bout of poor decision making was going to get slowed up to a degree.

Another reason he'd just found a true friend is Huaisang laughing at his inappropriate joke about family. It would've been so easy to take his comment to heart and gotten sad or hurt by it. As his sworn brother has discovered time and time again, little progress has been made on Wanyin's ability to curb what comes out of his mouth when his emotions get the better of him. What he says, luckily, doesn't always reflect what he actually feels.

"People are fools." He has no idea why Huaisang, even though he's a twit, hasn't found some strong man or woman to take care of him. In all likelihood, a man, but he wasn't the sort to doubt the ferocity of the opposite gender. Although another look at his dinner guest and he finds himself smiling just a little. No, a man. Only another man would put up with his nonsense. A man would find Huaisang helplessness cute while a woman would never put up with that bullshit. He thinks back over the years at some of the utter ridiculousness this man has done and..

"Hmm?" His gaze moves from where it had settled on the soft, pale skin of Huaisang's throat to his eyes. What was just asked? He hasn't the foggiest idea. "My apologies, Nie-zongzhu, I may not be the best company tonight. Perhaps you'll indulge your friend in some news from Qinghe?"

Huaisang tilts his head curiously at that, a smile playing about his lips - fools, hmm? Could it be that the grumpy, unapproachable Sandu Shengshou himself actually sees something valuable in Huaisang? The Nie sect leader was well aware of his reputation, even after the events of Guanyin temple, he's relaxed the headshaker act a little, but it still suits him to be underestimated. He wonders what Jiang Cheng sees in him that would make him say such a thing.

He smiles slightly at his distraction - for a moment there it almost looked like Jiang Cheng had been staring at him, but perhaps he just happened to be staring into space in his direction. He picked up his fan, watching the other man over the top of it, curiosity in his gaze.

"Ah, if we are friends, why stand on such ceremony tonight? I will tell you any news you want to hear if you call me Huaisang?" he bats his lashes theatrically.

Mostly he's just trying to lighten the mood, but he can lighten the mood and enjoy the sound of a little more familiarity from Jiang Cheng at the same time, right?

Just because Wanyin believes Huaisang is cute and silly doesn't mean he's also one of his fools. He witnessed what happened at the temple. He had Wei Wuxian explain what the hell happened (three times) and what exactly the shrewd sect leader from Nie had allegedly done. Okay, it was possible by the third time he was just intrigued and hadn't legitimately needed it explained again but his brother didn't need to know that.

His mouth goes dry at the pretty way the other man bats his eyes. It is a bit embarrassing to admit how much lovelier Huaisang is than the woman he was just jilted by. He'd wanted an uncomplicated heir and had assumed a woman would be easiest, but as he watched Huaisang he couldn't help wonder...

No. It is the wine muddling his thoughts. He is just lonely. He has just been jilted in a very public way (even if he made it seem as though he did the jilting).

"Huaisang," he repeats with a small smile. "And what do you wish to call me?" He asks, not quite meaning his tone to sound as suggestive as it does.

Huaisang really is just here to be a friend, he is, he picked up the intricacies of the situation in a way he isn't sure that anybody else did, and he thinks Jiang Cheng deserves somebody around who knows what he sacrificed to save his ex-fiancee's face, as well as his nephew's, since it's probably going to be a while before people stop making snarky comments about his rudeness and bad temper.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't find the other man attractive, and it doesn't mean that slightly suggestive tone doesn't do funny things to his insides. Oh, Jiang Cheng, if only you knew, he has a list.

But he long ago resigned himself to the fact that his best friend's brother would never consider him in that way. He can look, but that's all.

"How about Wanyin?" he suggests - far more familiar than Jiang-zongzhu, but not so familiar as to call him Cheng, that feels like an appropriate level.

(Hearing his name from Jiang Cheng's lips is, of course, just as lovely as he expected).

Edited 2021-08-20 23:41 (UTC)

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